The Day I Checked In To a Mental Institution

Totally kidding. I just realized the title of my posts were becoming quite ridiculous. Let’s grow up one day, huh Joy?

Halloween is almost here! And I’m really wishing I could watch scary movies. The idea of it sounds really fun and spooky and there’s something alluring about the thought of having the shit scared out of you. But my anxiety is through the roof to begin with. Every time I try to watch a scary movie I end up running for my bottle of Xanax. And then I just end up falling asleep. When I was little my mom, brother, and I would watch scary movies with the volume turned down and make up our own dialogue for what the actors were saying. So Freddy Krueger would walk in and we’d be all, “Somebody stole my underwear!!!” and then crack up laughing.

I wonder where I get my immaturity?

Do you watch The Walking Dead? Will you fill me in? Because I can’t watch it without wanting to throw up. I’ve tried to get in to that show a million times. I’ve seen the rave reviews. I know it’s a work of art across the board. I want to watch this show. But, damn you, zombies. You’re too real. And I prefer keeping my ice cream sandwich in my stomach where it belongs. Speaking of…

Attack of the vegan pumpkin ice cream sandwich. This is definitely the opposite of scary zombies.

I can’t wait to hand out Halloween candy tomorrow night!! I absolutely love seeing little kids trick-or-treating with their parents. I end up being that overly-excited-adult who says things like, “WOW, you’re a pirate!! Oh my gosh I love pirates!! OH look at YOU pretty princess!! Would you just look at that gown!?”

Last but not least, this is the most amazing news I’ve heard all day. Definitely the opposite of scary. But I might throw up with excitement if I somehow scored tickets to see this dude. You have every right to judge me for wanting to see this show so badly. But, you read my blog. You should expect nothing less at this point.

I’ll make sure to stay away from ice cream sandwiches that night.

Dear Steve: this song fills my soul with insane amounts of love. I promise to wear leg warmers to your show and dance like the girls in this video. And I will give you private dance lessons because you dance kinda weird. Love, Joy

 

2 comments

  1. trikatykid

    I checked into my first Mental Institution after The Ring, and then again after Paranormal Activity II (never saw 1, 3, or 4). I REALLY want to watch the rest because there’s a story line but I am WAY TOO GULLIBLE AND CHICKEN to deal with it and I do not have a prescription for Xanex. Boo.

    I just moved into my own apartment and I am shocked that I am not afraid of the dark, or things that go bump in the night. I even listened to ghost stories on NPR over the weekend – by myself – in my empty apartment and did NOT get scared!!

    How did I do this? Someone at work told me, with authority, “Katy. You do realize that they (paranormal beings) don’t exist. You do realize that it’s your own imagination that’s scaring you.”

    I simply stopped believing. I am not ready to test the theory in full, however……..

    Or I may find myself permanently checked into a mental institution with a LOT of Xanex in my system!

    🙂

    Reply

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