Insecurity Straight Talk and Dressing Room Hell

I’m going to take you on a journey through my crazy brain during an incident that occurred today in the women’s dressing room. Won’t you come along?

I was very excited because Madewell is now in Denver and I couldn’t wait to check out the insane amount of bright clothes. Oh, the endless possibilities of mis-matching!! I was surrounded by polka dots, animal prints, faux fur, skinny jeans, and crazy-cracked-out-scarves. Heaven, right? Until Joy enters the dressing room with an armful of possibilities.

It didn’t go well.

I’m not trying to be cliché about women and dressing rooms. Normally the dressing room and I have a stable relationship. I don’t hate.

But this was an ‘eff you. And eff you. And double-eff-you because every piece of clothing mocked my insanely large upper body’ situation. So, acting like a very mature 35-year-old, I pitched a fit. I half-put-on the clothes, realized it wasn’t going well before they even made it completely on my body, grimaced at the clothes in the mirror ‘you suck, clothes’ before ripping them off and throwing them on the ground. It was my shoulders’ worst nightmare. I caught myself muttering, “I look hideous, this is ridiculous….all of it is crap”, later realizing that a sales girl was standing right outside my dressing room. She doesn’t have an opinion. Her shoulders are small and bite-size.

What can I say. This is my weak spot. This is what hits a nerve with me every.single.time. I revert to my 13-year-old self who realized she was always going to be a little bit bigger than all the other girls. Dude, I know it’s OK. But get real. We all have our crap. This happens to be mine. I walked out of Madewell with actual tears in my eyes. Why don’t you make clothes for girls with 36-inch-all-ribcage-no-boobs-chests??

For a moment I thought about cutting out Crossfit. And then I realized I must have fainted and had a momentary loss of sanity.

I pulled myself together and decided to shake off the bad energy of my unfortunate dressing room experience. I drove straight to Ironwood and bought a few new plant friends. Meet Nancy, my new resurrection fern. Ironwood always makes me feel better. Oh, and Sweet Action vegan ice cream sandwiches never hurt a girl.

Tight in a little ball! Put the resurrection fern in water and it opens up.

Let it dry out and then start the process all over again. Second chances! Third chances! Fourth chances!

Maybe I’ll give Madewell another chance someday.
Cheers to loving our insecurities.

15 comments

  1. Megan

    I know what you mean with the ribs! Anytime I try on dresses it’s like ha no thanks, no zipping over your ribs. Stupid clothes, I say we win the lotto and get a personal seamstress. It’s time for a revolution.

    Reply
  2. claire chapman hay

    Ok this is ridiculous because on Saturday night I was seriously gazing enviously at your shoulders (creepy? maybe?) and wishing I would ever be able to pull off a blazer in real life… I go into dressing rooms and am dwarfed by structured jackets and, well, sleeves, because the sleeve seam doesn’t start until like an inch after my shoulder has already tapered off in its sad, wilted damsel-in-distress-shoulder sort of way. I am “petite” and I hate it because people I work with always say things like, “How old are you? 18?” and not in a flattering way–more in a “I don’t take you seriously” way. Something tells me you don’t have that problem too often! So be thankful for those babies because without ’em you would be just another dumb girl in an overpriced Madewell dress (who couldn’t do a HSPU to save her life).

    Reply
  3. tiffanybluegirl23

    I sort of feel your pain. In the sense that I am a girl with the big shoulders WITH a chest. Add to that my hips (birthing hips as dear old Granda Hunter used to call them). In some ways I dread finally reaching my weight goal because I have that hour-glass, statuesque, Julie Newmar figure. Makes for finding clothes that fit correctly. I was told once I was born in the wrong era. When I’m at my goal weight I could have been a 1940’s pin-up model. I’m with Megan personal seamstresses for everyone.

    Oh and I’ve never heard of redirection plants. I love plants but I’m a serial plant killer. Resurrections look to be the way to go!

    Reply
    • tiffanybluegirl23

      Ok that’s what I get for typing on my phone. Left of “hard to find” for the clothes fitting correctly and resurrection was changed to redirection lol.

      Reply
      • tiffanybluegirl23

        I thought of you last night while watching the World Series. One Direction was on a Pepsi commercial. I could see you getting all giddy and then singing with them. LOL

  4. ~jenniferlynn

    I’ve always been an XS and now that I’ve been working out are developing these little shoulders and I’m getting a bit broader in the shoulders. And having to start branching away from XS in order to find clothes that I am not only able to get into, but also get out of, has started to become a challenge. I love just putting on workout clothes; I seem to have a better relationship with those 🙂

    Reply
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